Friday, November 1, 2013

A Little Something About Me

The people that inspire me, my idols, my heroes, whatever you want to call them, are a unique bunch of sons of bitches, a real smattering of different characters.

1) Carl Sagan

2) Phil Defranco

3) Seth MacFarlane

4) Macklemore

5) Elon Musk

Obviously for different reasons, these men all blow my mind. My very freaking mind.

1) The late Carl Sagan, for the badass way he viewed and related science to the masses. He made scientific curiosity into a near religious experience and had a simple and poetic way with words while describing our universe. Makes a motha fucka want to be an astrophysicist. Man, that guy, that freaking guy. He inspires me on a scientific/spiritual level.

2) The ever alive and fantastically self-made Phillip Defranco. He started at the bottom making YouTube videos while going to college back in 2006. Now he employs a dozen or so people, produces several channels on YouTube, and hosted Shark Week last year for fucks sake. His net worth is estimated to be about one million dollars and he didn't even finish college. He's hilarious, he's charismatic, he makes shit happen, he is exactly who I wish I was, and I love that guy's fucking face. He inspires me on a personal level.

3) We all know Seth MacFarlane. The brilliant and not afraid to make a joke writer/creator of most notably; Family Guy, American Dad!, and the movie Ted. I could hang out in this guys brain for days. He does what I would be doing if I was more intelligent and harder working. He collaborates with so many other fantastic people in and around his various projects that I can't help but be envious. He doesn't take shit too serious and I love that. He rocks bits, gags, and cutaways like a boss. He inspires me on a comedic level.

4) Macklemore, that Thrift Shop shopping, 20 dollars having, gay rights supporting rapper we all hear on the radio. I obviously have no interest in being a musician, but this is more than that, he's a fucking dreamer and he never quit. He rapped for 10 fucking years, broke and unsuccessful before we started hearing about him, and even with fame he has retained an amount of dignity and classiness I can respect, he dreams, he makes great music, he stands for shit and never quits. He inspires me on a hopes and dreams level.

5) Finally Elon Musk, an entrepreneur and business man, an inventor and genius. He kicks ass and takes names. He started Paypal, founded SpaceX and co-founded Tesla Motors. Both badass companies if you take the time to look them up. This rich successful bastard makes my mouth water with how deep into the technology and engineering world he has his hands buried. He inspires me on a professional/business level.

These five individuals all sort of represent a piece of what I strive for in this world. The scientist full of knowledge and wonder, the self-made college dropout kicking ass anyways, the writer/comedian making life one big joke, the dreamer finally finding success, the entrepreneurial genius leaving his mark.

They all make me want what they have. They make me want to try to be even bigger and better. I'm not off to a great start I admit, but neither were some of them. I'll make it or die trying, old and unsuccessful. But you bet your ass I'll make a shit ton of stories along the way.

Monday, October 14, 2013


As usual, my oddly ambitious and overly optimistic quest for hopes and dreams persists unabated.

If dreams were currency I would be in short need of any sort of job or career. Sadly that is not the case and I have a need for some sort of steady income.

Since I was of teenage years I had never known what it is I wanted to do when I grew up.

Still, not having grown at all, I find I still don't know what that calling is, I have inclinations sure, pipe dreams and the like, but as far as solid venues for my current finances I have none.

What I do know for certain. I KNOW that I don't intend on wasting my one life that I have working a job I hate or just working too much in general, until I'm dead.

There are too many things in the world to do and experience to spend year after year working just so I might be able to have a few weeks vacation a year and a retirement at 65. That to me sounds like possibly the worst way to spend a life.

This is not me saying that I wish to be a hippie and live a life against ever lifting a finger to do anything. I mean to suggest that if I am forced to work my whole life away, I intend to do it on my own terms. I would just as soon spend my life searching for a job that feels like a hobby, than spend it doing something I don't want to do just because people insist that that's the way it is.

I personally think I'm awesome and am not real concerned. I've always had the notion in my head that it'll come to me and I'll end up doing something I love and doing it well.

More than that, lately I've got it in my head that why would I stop at happiness? If my luck permits it and I do end up finding a niche in which I can become financially successful. I plan on doing everything I can to expound that money into more and more money.

If I had it my way I would create an empire on these hopes and dreams, and eventually the hopes and dreams of others. I would and will go as far as this life permits, if for no better reason than because I can.

Or I'll spend my life chasing my fancies. Either way works I suppose.

This really snowballed. I had a point when I started I swear.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Go Home

Dear Everybody,

1) If you have ever tried to convince me to do what you want me to do instead of what I want me to do, piss off.

2) If you have ever insisted that I can't or shouldn't do what I want because you don't believe in me or support me, piss off.

3) If you have ever publicly declared your love for The Office, just keep on pissing off you dick hole.

The moral of the story is, I'm going to try to do what I want and be happy doing it before I die, if you don't like it, just go home. Also, The Office sucks, it really does, I know EVERYBODY is a huge fan, but you shouldn't be because it's just not that great.

Also, I'm in New Ulm, Minnesota by the way. Not Bozeman anymore. So if anyone relevant reads this and didn't know that, surprise! Here I am!

So there's that.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

He's Alive!

You know.

As surprising as this might or might not be, when I'm expected to write a lot for school, blogging becomes a lot less appealing. Suddenly it's a job.

That being said, if you've come on here multiple times in the last couple months, looking for some sort of update, you must be a sad lonely person who clearly cares way too much about me.

Just stop it. You're suffocating me. Have some dignity. Christ.

Speaking of everyone's favorite savior, Christ, the other day I was called brilliant in class for drawing parallels between a book we read, and the Bible.

I appreciate the sentiment but to call someone brilliant for relating a novel to the Bible is hilariously outrageous. Being easily the most referenced and influential piece of western literature it's honestly hard NOT to relate a written work to it, baring the unreasonable of course.

The part that surprises me most is that in my class I'm the only person who routinely, or ever, relates a short story, poem, or novel to the Bible. A bunch of damn heathens up in there if you ask me.

Especially when the book is full of personal sacrifice(Jesus), mysterious water related rebirths(Baptism), and unexplained 'virgin' pregnancies(Mary).

Could it be any more clear? Nay, probably not.

Don't call me brilliant for something that's not brilliant.

Though I do encourage flattery, so by all means, find a real reason to point out my brilliance.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Free Drinks

Last Saturday was the first MSU Bobcats football game this year and with the new addition on the half stadium thing we got going on here.

I've never been that drunk at a football game before. It was a great time. The roommates and I started chants, made friends with anyone nearby, and just acted a fool in general.

To be honest it might be easily one of the more fun games I've ever been too. Plus they won. So it was free drinks down at a local 'Country' bar/club/thing from 10-11 that night.

Sooooo yeah, it got pretty free. If you know what I mean. Which would surprise me, because I don't even know what I mean.

Going to continue trying to make kegs 'n eggs before games. We always try but never end up going. Next time, next time for sure.

Other than that, my friends, all has been as is. Classes are going fine, great even, and money is short.

And by short I mean gone. Way gone. I don't even remember what money is.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


The first class, on the first day of class, on the first semester of the year, on the first year back, from taking my first year off.

It's good to be back.

Having officially started my new English Writing Major I can't say I've ever been more...where I am...right now?

I'm taking a Literature class, a Linguistics class, a Philosophy class, and a Writing class.

All things I find at least at a very moderate level of interest to me. It's all going well so far. That's where I've been for the last two weeks. Going to class and being very very poor.

I finally started working out again...and by again I of course mean for the first time in eons.

It actually feels great. I love it. Being so inactive for so long really makes a person appreciate a good 'burn' if you don't mind my cliche labels.

Between trying not to be poor, school work (which is admittedly light for the moment), working out, and trying to pick up chicks, I'm enjoying the current routine my life is in.

Speaking of chicks, so get this, apparently a while back, one morning my mother stopped by my place with my brother and his girlfriend right?

As it turns out my mother was convinced that I probably had a girl over and sent my brother's girlfriend to my room to see if I was awake and had company, least she happens upon an awkward situation.

That's it. That's the story.

I guess I can't say my mother doesn't believe in me. It's just funny, of all the things she expects, she actually thinks she'll stumble across some one night stand of mine? HA. That's good. She's got faith in me, I'll give her that.

She thinks I've got GAME.

But after having been tied down three years I find I don't.

Sure, I can open, I'm charming enough for that, some drinks, some dancing, and a witty comment or two. I can do that. But bringing the marks home, that's where I fail.

Closing. I got the numbers. But convincing them to come back to my lair is a whole different story.

Actually, maybe it's because I call it my lair...

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Accuracy and Precision


Archer reference!

So there I am broing out with our very own Colin Macgregor of Something Near Sane as he came through the city of Bozeman on his way home from his ventures up in/near Glacier.

We ended up going out to the bars. And push comes to shove I apparently almost got another Public Urination ticket. Funny right? I'm not going to give details into exactly what went down for the privacy of certain parties. But lets just say I'm starting a Urinating in Public club and I've already got another member. But back to myself almost getting another. I'm standing there, and the cop looks up my name and says to me, "You just got a public urination last week? You're lucky you didn't have your 'thing' out or I would give you another" and to which I wanted to say, "Sir, it's a penis, just say penis." but instead I said, "aaaaah what?"

Bicycle cops again. Two this time. Power trip having wankers is what they are. They even told me and the second person in my small group to take a step back and stand behind the bicycles. As if we were going to jump them or something. What the fuck.

I went camping/hiking in Glacier National Park a few days ago, for a few days.

Wow, not only is it gorgeous but hiking 3500 vertical feet in 7 miles one way whilst carrying a small but still noticeable backpack is not as easy as it sounds. Oh what's that? It doesn't sound that easy? Why the fuck didn't you tell me that before I did it.

Slept in a hammock in the woods. 

School starts again real soon. I'll admit to being pretty nervous purely on the grounds of after taking a year off it will be quite the shock going back. It's a bitter-sweet feeling. You know what else is bitter-sweet? Your mother.